So who is this bloke and what’s he all about?

Damon is a hottie from down-under who embarks on a sugar fuelled 60-day marathon after having gone 3 years without the evil-stuff. There’s a twist, he doesn’t eat the usual candy/white sugar doughnuts you’d imagine – oh nooo, he adopts a diet full of ‘low-fat’ foods, jams & juices, #YourRegularAussieDiet, or around 40tsp of sugar daily – yes you read right: FORTY. The mega baybe continues with his day-to-day exercise regime & ensures that throughout this ‘experiment’ he doesn’t go over his usual 2,300 calories per day.

Day 1 – the initial stats;

He weighs 76kg, has a healthy liver, low triglyceride count (actual body fat) and he has zero (#hero) insulin resistance.

And so, what happens…?

He travels across Aus to visit an indigenous aboriginal tribe (we’re talking hunter & gatherer style) who are now suffering from chronic kidney failure and diabetes – but only since their reliance upon the convenience store went from 10% of groceries to 100% (over the past 40 years). This is also a totally sober tribe, meaning that all of these dialysis-dependent patients are suffering because of, predominantly, their diet, as it states here they drank 40,000 litres fizzy pop and cordial-type beverages in one year, they being 360 peeps, a truly cray-cray stat.

Any other good ‘sugar causing mega problems’ stories?

There sure is – this one’s a goodie and takes place in Kentucky. It involves a dentist, his RV and 1 particular 17 year old boy (and no, this isn’t Breaking Bad Part II). Said boy has drunk 5 bottles (12 cans) of Mountain Dew fizzy pop a DAY since he was 2 years old. He now needs 26 new teeth/dentures, but it gets worse – due to the severe infection in his mouth, anaesthetic will have very little effect, and so in the face of a very painful experience the boy declines all form of treatment. The revelation here is that Mr Dentist has set up a mobile dental clinic, whilst charging nothing, in the face of this Mountain Dew Mouth pandemic (because Mountain Dew Mouth is actually a THING), and guess who funded said RV clinic…. ? Pepsi, aka the creators of this heinous beverage – who then kindly added that #MDew is, “in moderation, part of a healthy diet”, oh myyy, what a coincidence.

What else?

A couple of other titbits we picked up on;

– French scientists proved that rats work harder for sugar than they do cocaine, #LikeRatsLikeHumans?

– There is a highly suspicious correlation between sugar and cigarette corporations that pay their ‘in-house’ scientists to do research which, quelle surprise, end up promoting their relevant products #SoundsDodgyToUs

– Sugar is the cause of materialisation, humans associate sweet foods with love and affection – so the next time you wanna share the love why not give him or her a kilo of kale or a pot of peanuts? In all seriousness, check out these #MegaSweetTreats.

Day 60 – the outcome (you guessed it, not so good);

Damon has put on 18.74 pounds (well over a whole stone), the fat in his blood has gone from 0.08 to 1.5, which also indicates a higher LDL risk (aka high cholesterol), he’s added 7% body fat and gained, not even kidding, 10cm around his waist.

If this doesn’t put you off the sickly stuff, we just don’t know what will. Damon – nice work, #YouCanBeOurHeroBaby.